Reaching out to the youth

Greetings children,

As you know, World Youth Day festivities are already underway. We (my staff and I) are getting the last minute things prepared for the trip to my homeland. I am very excited about having this opportunity to address the youth. As I reach out to those who are the future of the Church Militant, it is my heartfelt desire that they respond in kind and lead the Church through the New Springtime.

A very dear friend of mine, was quite effective at reaching out to the youth, you probably know who I am talking about, so it wouldn’t necessarily be namedropping to mention Pope John Paul II, a.k.a. John Paul the Great of happy memory. One of the many things that was so endearing about him was his extroverted personality and his ability to transcend generational barriers in order to reach the youth.

However, I have quite a different personality, yet I am confident in the success of this year’s WYD. The way I view things, even if I don’t reach the youth at the same level as my predecessor, those wonderful youth will help make up the difference.

All that being said; I have been working on my opening address to the youth. Some of my advisors have suggested that if I want to reach the youth I must step out of my ‘comfort zone’, as they call it. Ironically, I am not sure I am very comfortable doing that, but I have been giving it an honest try. I would like to share with you a sample from one of the working copies of my opening address. I have to admit that I am not very comfortable with the text, especially when I account for how it would sound with my accent. See what you think.

World Youth Day Address - working copy III


Word to your mother!
[pause]
The Word came to us through our Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary; which was a really rad thing, ya know? Lord Jesus Christ didn’t come in a Beamer all decked in bling bling; no, he came to us in a lowly manger, clothed in humility and poverty. As Our Good Lord’s main-homey right now, I come to you in humility and without bling bling, save my Pescatorio and pectoral cross.

I bring you the 411 on the freedom that is the faith in Jesus Christ. The message of Christ is beyond cool; in fact, it is really quite bitchin’. One cannot view the Church as a bogart with a bunch of rules and bans. To the contrary, the Church is da bomb. It is like having a Lear jet to take you to new heights while you and your friends are chillin’ with your new found freedom.

I also come to remind you to just say NO to Relativism; for a soul is a terrible thing to waste. You see, my young homies; the Relativist would feed you a bunch of BS and tell you young men that it doesn’t matter if your pants hang down to your knees. Don’t be a chump, it makes you look like a punk and everyone knows it. Just say NO to Relativism!

Young ladies, the Relativists hook you into believing that going around half-naked makes you look hot, when in reality it saps you of your true beauty and often times just makes you look skanky. Simply reject those who would dis’ you and say NO to Relativism! I challenge all of you to ditch the chains of Relativism and hook up with da Man-God Himself, Lord Jesus Christ.

Children, you are free to let me know what you think about the above text; upon reading it again, I am more convinced than ever that I should stick to the manner and material I know, and simply trust the Holy Spirit to facilitate the connection between me and the youth. After all, being the pope I am the boss, no? Who is to say that some unnamed clerics, like Archbishop Marini, know more about these things than I?

In conclusion, Father Norbert has set me up with a laptop to take along with me. I don’t know how much time I will have for musing, but I will certainly have time enough for addressing the comment boxes. Please remember to pray for all the youths attending WYD and may God bless you all.